The story for this film is centered around the Final battle from the last one. The big fight in Chicago caused a ton of damage and killed quite a few people as well. The government decided, rightfully so, we don't need the transformers on our planet anymore. They gave asylum to a few Autobots and started to hunt the remaining Decepticons down. Or at least that was the story they gave out. They actually teamed up with a 3rd faction who was hunting the Transformers for trophies. They wanted Optimus so they could return him to the creators. This Transformer was called Lockdown, and could transform his face into a Sniper Rifle. Yes it was as cool as it sounds. Kelsey Grammer leads the black ops team working with him, and they are hunting all the remaining robots.
Mark Wahlberg is a struggling inventor, whose inventions don't actually seem to work. He and T.J. Miller are doing a job cleaning up a old theater when they come across a broken down Truck. Wahlberg buys it and takes it back to his barn to try and see if he can part it out for money. Of course it turns out to be Optimus Prime and the goverment storms his house to try and capture him. Wahlberg and his family are forced into hiding and join up with the autobots as they try to fight for their freedom. Also Dinobots show up at the end of the film for 10 or so minutes.
Acting in these movies, not usually top shelf stuff. But to be fair Mark Wahlberg does a good job here. He has good emotions, and seeing him play angry protective father is good fun. T.J. Miller is always gold for me. The guy just cracks me up, and I have enjoyed him in everything I can think of. Even Yogi Bear, so seeing him here was a very nice surprise. Sadly they decide to only use him for about 30 minutes or so. Grammer is the main human villain, and he does well with what he is given. He never really comes across as scary, or even intimidating though. It just felt like they could have done much more with him.
For the robots, Optimus is voiced by Peter Cullen. Cullen has been voicing that particular robot for 30 years now. He was the same guy who voiced him back in the first animated series. Frank Weller also returns, voicing Galvatron. He also has been voicing that robot and a few others since the 80's. Seeing these guys still working their roles is great, but also a little disappointing. They do a wonderful job, and hearing their voices is a joy. But the way they are being used now, you have to wonder if they even care about their past. Maybe it is just me being to critical, but the versions of those characters we have now are in no way similar to the great characters they have offered us in the past. More on that in a minute though.
The visuals in the movie range from god awful, to pretty damn impressive. Usually the later thankfully. However there was a scene where Wahlberg and his daughter are saved by her sometimes Irish boyfriend. He is a rally driver, and has a course set up where he jumps out of a parking garage onto a ramp. The whole sequence was just ridiculous looking. The moment the car left the garage it looked very fake, even the way it moved seemed very off. This is just one example, but there were a few times I just shook my head at how poorly something looked. On the other end of the spectrum though, I would like to talk about Transformium. It is a new metal the humans have invented in order to combat the robots. It allows them to make their own transformers, and the way it moves and transforms is a visual treat. It separates into little spheres and then reforms into the new shape. It was one of the cooler elements in the film. Seeing them change a gun into Rainbow Dash made me smile. And seeing it used in the battle sequences did the same. Sadly the actual fights did not do the same.
The action sequences were about the same as the last few films. Explosions for the sake of explosions. Fighting that seemed very out of place for the Autobots. And a whole lot of nothing happening for extended duration. They also decided to have Wahlberg fight the transformers, which worked with varying success. He is given a gun, that is human size, and he can kill them with it. He gets it off of a transformer ship though, where we never actually see anybody human size who could wield it. Also as it seems to be firing physical rounds instead of lasers, I have to wonder how much recoil a transformer killing weapon would have.....apparently none is the correct answer. He even gets the final fight, as after Lockdown takes out Optimus Prime, why wouldn't the human with a gun be able to win?
So in previous variations of the Transformers, autobots end up stranded on our planet. They decide to support and protect us from the deceptions, as it was simply the right thing to do. In other variations humans have gotten a hold of their tech and used it to fight them, but they still protected us as it was simply the right thing to do. In this movie that changes. The autobots don't like the humans, and even come off as villains in some portions. They are unable to see the difference between the corrupt members running the black ops group, and everybody else. A running gag is the autobots requesting permission from Optimus to kill random humans. And even Optimus himself does not go out of his way to protect the innocents. He even brings fights into highly populated areas purposefully. Let's remember that was his entire thing. Optimus Prime discovered sentient life on the planet and swore to protect it. That is from his wiki, and it perfectly sums up him as a character. This Optimus does not have that, and nothing has happened to him that hasn't happened in other versions of the fiction. If it was the first movie I could sort of understand it, but he seems to not remember any of the humans who have helped him from the past few Bay films. I spent the majority of the movie hating the autobots, as frankly they were awful protagonist. The fact that Cullen still voiced Optimus in this performance has lowered my opinion of him.
The high point of the film were the sequences that did not involve the transformers. T.J. Miller and Mark Wahlberg hanging out was easily the best part of the movie. The entire first 30 minutes, I actually thought they had finally made a film I was going to enjoy. Then they get rid of Miller and replace him with Jack Raynor who was just awful. He couldn't pick a accent, and his character was simply annoying. He was used to add humor to the film, but it just fell flat for me. Wahlberg did a great job of holding everything together, but even he couldn't carry the entire movie.
With a horrible story, bland action sequences, annoying inconsistencies, that whole we could have just shot the magnet the whole time thing. (if you watch the movie you will get this) Frankly this movie was garbage. Wahlberg was better then Shia Labeouf, but everybody other then him and Miller were bland and forgettable. The autobots were jerks and unlikable, though my wife was surprised that Goodman was still alive. So finding out she was wrong about that was a positive for her. It was odd watching this movie, it started out so strong. But as it progressed it somehow got worse and worse as time went on. By the end, I was just glad it was over with.
I have a strict, no money on Bay Formers rule, guess it will stay in effect for the time being. If you want a redbox, look for something else. Godzilla is out now, and Deliver us from Evil just showed up there. Give one of those a shot instead.
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