The Visit (2015)

The Visit is a M. Night Shyamalan film presented in the found film style. It is shown as a documentary of two kids visit to their grandparents house as they meet them for the first time. The main focal point of the film however is the mother and how sad the daughter perceives her as being. The mother had a big fight with her parents over a man, left the house and never saw them again. This was before the kids were born, which explains why they don't know the grandparents. The grandparents reach out online and ask to see the kids for a week as they want to be part of their life. The daughter who is 15 decides to make the documentary as a way of hopefully recording the Grandparents telling her what happened in that fight, and getting a apology so the mother can finally move on and be happy. Also it is apparently supposed to be a horror film, though nobody seemed to remember that while making it.

When you hear M. Night Shyamalan you groan and go, but that preview looked so promising. Remember The Village? That movie looked decent, it started decent, then "The Twist" happened and it turned became awful. Remember Wayward Pines? No you don't, you didn't finish that show either? Devil was okay though right......maybe. Shyamalan is known for making a few decent films very early on, then turning out neat concepts that fail to deliver for the next 10 to 15 years. He tends to throw a "Twist" into his films to, something that takes you by surprise and changes how the films story works. Easy example would be one of his older films, the Village. A movie that took place in a older time before technology. It was a take on the big bad wolf. A girl was trying to leave her village but was being stalked by a wolf. Turns out the wolf was simply trying to keep her in the area so she didn't discover the twist! She really lived in modern time, oh my god so amazing! It was stupid as was the rest of the movie.

So we have two kids visiting Nana and Pop Pop for the first time. They spend a week in the house recording everything for their documentary. During the day, they seem like normal old people, but at night Nana gets weird. It starts setting up for the horror moments, but it never really delivers on them. Yes the old people act weirder and weirder as it goes on, but they never do anything really scary. Also you never really feel like anybody is in danger until the final 10 or so minutes of the film. We get a stronger focus on the story between the mother and the grandparents, and the spooky stuff takes the back seat. The film tries so hard to keep you interested as you wait for "The Twist", but it just fails to. It gives little clues, and you keep watching because you paid for it so why not I guess. Then finally the twist starts to appear, and it looks like it may be a doozey. Shymalan starts giving out some heavy handed clues and your brain goes into overdrive trying to think up the craziest thing it could be. This is a guy who did a movie about plants and bees somehow psychically forcing people to commit suicide....actually I didn't finish that one, that is just what I was told happened. So when "The Twist" finally does come and all the build up amounted to pretty much nothing, the movie lost any good it had going for it.

Everything building to the final scenes was for nothing. You sit there bored out of your mind hoping for something magical. What you get was just plain and boring, combined with a very lackluster finish and you get a film that never really manages to accomplish much. It is never scary, never really enjoyable, and you have to sit through a 13 year old rapping over and over again. The only thing the movie really had going for it was occasional humor. The Son decides at one point to shout out female pop singer names instead of cursing. He only did it a few times, but it always made me laugh for some reason. Sadly that was the only enjoyment I got out of the film.

Also the trailer needs to be addressed. Watch the Trailer, and you have now seen pretty much the entire movie. It shows all the "scares" and even sort of gives away part of "The Twist." when you can fit the parts of your movie that are supposed to be the main reason for seeing it, into a single video under 3 minutes, you have a problem.

If you want some found footage horror, give the new Paranormal Activity a try. It is not what I would call overly scary, but it was fun and far better then this. Unfriended would be another one similar in style. It is told completely from the computer screen of a teenage girl who is chatting with all her friends as they start to die. A really unique and new approach to the found footage stuff.

Skip this, don't rent it. Don't watch it at a friends house, just pretend it never existed.

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)

Paranormal Activity is one of those franchises that most have heard of, but not kept up with. The first movie did great, good reviews and a lot of people saw it. However as they went along, the formula staid the same, and most people quickly grew bored and stopped watching. We are now on the 6th film, and the final film in this story. It does make some radical changes to the formula, while still keeping the final product roughly the same. And while I enjoyed that, I am not sure it actually helped them any. I am a fan of these films, I have seen them all. And I have enjoyed the story they tell, as all of them are linked together even if they do have 20 years between them.

The following is a short summary of the previous films which I have all seen once at release, so it may not be 100% accurate, but it is very close.

The first Movie was about Katie, she was living with her fiance or husband or something. The movie ended with her becoming possessed by a demon and killing the love interest, and left the house. We did not see where she went, and the movie made note that the police never found her. The second story was about her sister. She had a kid named Hunter, the demon wanted the kid. The movie ended with a failed possession as the family was able to cast the demon out of the mother. Katie then comes into the house, kills the family and takes the kid. You start to see how the connection works. We get a movie about the two sisters as kids next, and we see their grandmother force them into a witch coven which kills their parents and starts to prepare them for their demonic possession later in life. There is another film where Hunter is now slightly older and with a different family, the demon comes back for him as they now have actual need for him. We get a spin off where we learn there are multiple kids all born the same day, the sixth day of the sixth month, of the sixth year of the century....666, they are marked and needed for the demon to become whole and gain a physical body in this world. This movie was a spin off, and really did not tie into the story to much, but it gave a lot of great details. The ending had the two sisters when they were little show up, even though it was in modern times. We also saw a crazy scene where the main characters raided the witch's coven to get one of their friends back. One of them is being chased and runs through a door which drops them off in the house from a earlier film, and we see older Katie and other people from earlier films. That movie gave the details that the coven and the demon had the ability to travel through time, as well as locations using set points. Magic doors that were linked, that was a very integral part to this film.

Ghost Dimension is about a family that just moved into a house, a big amazing looking house that was a deal to good to be true. They have a young daughter named Leila, and the both the wife and the husband have their sibling staying over for the holidays. It takes place at Christmas, and like the others it is all told with found footage. If you are not familair with that term, it basically means home video style. Most movies are shot as if you are looking through a camera, or as if the camera is not there. These are shot as if somebody was making their own film, and you are looking at the result. A character is holding the camera and filming, and you are seeing the movie they make. Think Blair Witch or Cloverfield.

The two brothers find a old box with a camera from the 80's and some home videos. The camera still works and they clean it up and try it out. They can see a weird distortion in their house that seems to be moving around, but you can not make out what it is. This is where Ghost Dimension differs from previous films. The camera is a spirit camera and allows them to see the demon. It is weak the begining, but as the movie goes on it grows stronger through interacting with them and takes on a more solid form. It was neat to finally see the demon, and I really enjoyed the change from before where you would just have a invisible entity terrorizing people. However it did lesson the fear, as you could see things coming and it was not a surprise anymore. Still it was unique for the franchise, and for the final film it accomplished something the fans have been wanting. The demon's name is Tobi, and fans have wanted to see and know more about Tobi, now we have.

If you remember the ending to the third or the flashback film, well you know the ending to this one. This is where those movies finally tie together. Also if you saw any of the other films, well you know how this one ends because they are all the same. That being said we do get some cool moments out of this one that fans will enjoy. They try to kill the demon at one point, a sort of super exorcism I guess. We get a creepy santa, and a great moment where you first see Tobi's face. I would say there were more memorable moments in this film the prior ones, and they really did go big for the grand finale. If you have stuck with the franchise this far, check it out. You deserve to see the ending, and you get to see some more backstory about the sisters and the coven.

If you are a newcomer, well it may not really be your thing. It was not exactly scarey, and the little details will be lost on you. You won't care about the sisters, or really know what is going on with the doorways or coven. You can still follow it all, but you will be missing key details.

Pixels (2015)

Fair warning, I go into heavy spoilers in this one. If you don't want to read that, just know I do not recommend the movie. It was awful.

Pixels is a movie about arcade games coming to life and attacking our planet. The idea is a alien race got ahold of some tapes we shot into space that were part of a arcade game tournament many years ago. They mistook them as threats and us challenging them to real life versions of these games in order to take over their planet. The aliens spent years devising the technology to make this a reality and have now accepted our challenge of war. First to lose 3 games loses their planet. This is further built upon by the fact that the aliens have now all taken the form of old video game characters, and are presented as 3d representations of the pixel forms. So basically all blocky looking. This is important as it is part of my biggest complaint against the movie, but that comes later.

Adam Sandler is a genius at old games, not so much the new ones. His mind sees the patterns the enemies are taking and he can react to them accordingly. This allows him to reach the finals of the tournament that was being taped before losing to Peter Dinklage, aka the firebolt. This is of course when they are children, then the movie shoots ahead to current day. Sandler is installing tech in peoples houses, tvs and sound systems. His best friend played by Kevin James is now the President of the United States, and Dinklage is in jail. Josh Gad plays the final member of the group, and is still creepy and weird and living in his moms basement. His character is a play on the negative stereotype associated with nerds, and goes all in on every negative they could come up with. I hated it.

Gad refuses to have cable television as the government uses it to spy on you. He luckily notices a transmission from the aliens he picks up on his antenna and reports it to Sandler who gives it to the POTUS. The aliens give the coordinates to he next attack, and a time. The movie is mainly about us trying to fight back using newly developed tech.

Acting is pretty much what you expect in this movie. Sandler and James tend to overact, and guess what, they do that once again. Dinklage was quite bad as well, which given what I normally associate with him was shocking. The writing was just awful, and any time the movie could have benefited from a serious scene they instead go overly silly and try to force some awful joke onto you. I know it was supposed to be a comedy, but that doesn't mean the entire movie has to take that tone. They also tend to insult or take shots at their core demographic a lot, and pretty much anybody else that they can. The Prime Minister is a ugly women who can't string together a intelligent sentence, and they call her out on it multiple times. Gad's whole character is just insulting and the way they tie up his story is even worse. He is in love with a video game character, another stereotype, to the point he has a shrine to her. She is of course brought to life by the aliens, but for some weird reason she is not pixels but a real person. He decides to let her kill him, as he can die happy if it is at her hands, and she now suddenly loves him and turns against her entire race. She is now killing her own people for him. In the end when we win the war, their planet is forfeit and their people are killed except for the 3 we get to keep as trophies. She was not one of them, but Q*bert is. Don't know Q*bert? He was the star of a great game back in the 80's. Gad's character shames him because he has lost the love of his life, but Q*bert being a trophie was allowed to live. Q is so distraught over this he movies his gender and appearance into the female and Gad is suddenly fine again. He marries and fathers children with her, who are all little Q*berts.....I wish I was making that up. We kill a entire species over a miss-understanding. We then shame one of their only survivors into giving up their identity to sexually gratify one of our own. That was the ending to the movie.

Other huge issues with the movie, how they handled the source material and integrated it into the story. We learn that Dinklage only beat Sandler in the Donkey Kong finals by using cheat codes, however there are no codes for the arcade version of that game. Dinklage then Later uses pac man cheat codes in the real world to speed up his ghost allowing him to win that battle. Other then the absurd idea that he can somehow magically enter a cheat code into our world, that game also does not have a cheat code for that. This is a major plot point as the aliens rule it as a forfeit for us and launch a all out attack. They then challenge Sandler to a last match, winner takes all of Donkey Kong. Sandler then cheats and wins the game by attacking DK directly with the hammer instead of winning the game the correct way. The aliens decide this time cheating is okay and kill themselves. There was no consistency, and it was almost as if the writers had no idea how the games they were writing about actually worked.

If you like Sandler's recent comedies, you will probably like this. If you don't, pass on it.

Tomorrowland (2015)

Tomorrowland is of course a section of the Disney theme parks that used to depict what the future could like like. However as we eventually caught up to there predictions they had to redesign it. It now shows what people from the very distant past thought the future would like like that we now live in. Personally I liked the change, it was charming seeing what people though we could have. What the future could have been. When they announced a movie about Tomorrowland, I was simply confused. Would it show the possible future we missed like at the attraction, or a new future similar to most other science fiction stories? The end result was something I didn't really expect, and it held true to what I felt the attraction represents. It also gave us a pretty cool story that reminded me of something else entirely.

Bioshock is a video game franchise that is know for its science fiction stories and mediocre gameplay. In the first game you find yourself stranded in a futuristic city that is under water. They collected the best and brightest to build a perfect society. Sadly when you get there it is destroyed. The other games are similar, you get a brief glimpse of what could have been before being shown the truth. Tomorrowland starts out in a very similar way. I spent the first 20 minutes or so just thinking about how much like Bioshock it really was. I loved that aspect of it, I just wish they had kept the story dark in tone.

The movie starts with young Frank Walker trying to win 50$ with his almost functioning jet pack. He is turned away but he makes a good impression on a young girl named Athena and she gives him a pin and some very specific instructions. As he follows her and some other individuals onto the "It's a Small World" ride the pin is scanned and his boat is detoured underground to dark room with only a booth in it. The booth transports him into the future, or another world entirely and we are given our first look at this utopia that the best have created. This whole sequence was really the best part of the film for me. It was serious, but still fun. And everything about it felt familiar in a good way. The rest of the film takes place in our time and deals primarily with Casey Newton played by Britt Robertson.

Newton is a optimist, it is her defining characteristic. She is caught breaking into a NASA facility and is tossed in jail. Her father bails her out, and in her belongings is a pin. She does not know how it got there, and when she goes to touch it, she is transported to a field she does not recognize. This is where the main story kicks off. We find out her position in the real world is relative to the other world she is visiting. It was actually kind of neat seeing her maneuvering around the current world and then popping back and forth to see where she was in the other. It was a small attention to detail I really appreciated, until a few minutes later when they decided to drop it to make things easier. The actual story is her trying to figure out how to get to that world. In that quest she makes contact with a now older Frank Walker played by George Clooney. My wife swears he has never done a bad film, she also refuses to watch Return of the Killer Tomatoes with me. Walker has some sort of countdown going on, and refuses to talk about it. It is easy to see where this is going, and they of course have to stop it.

The movie had a very interesting story, I really liked the idea of it. The reveal at the end was well played to, however it was a Disney film and as such it was never able to fully explore the dark subject matter it was trying to utilize. It didn't come off as so much a missed opportunity, as it still did very well with what it had. But it just made me think about the Bioshock games and how great they did with the same story and set up. If you don't have anything else to compare it to, you would probably enjoy what they were serving you.

The effects were good, the future sequences made great use of this. Everything from the robots, to the rockets, the towers, they all looked fantastic. Yes they had the same issue the hobbit films had when they animated people, where they made them to cartoonish in their movements. There are multiple jet pack portions which looked awful because of this as well as a few scenes with the Athena character. However overall, I was very happy with how the movie looked and felt. The actual "Tomorrowland" was well done to. We got a version of it thought up as how they pictured it would look as well as the actual cookie cutter future we have come to expect. I thought it was a nice touch that they included the first version as it is what the theme park attraction is all about. While that is where the similarities end, seeing them incorporate the Disney stuff was kind of neat.

The ending was nice, I liked what they were trying to do with it. And it fit the overall theme of the movie which was never give up and believe that anything is possible. It was also the weakest part of the film because of this. It was to convenient and really never went into how it all worked. I wanted to see more of what the big event was, and how everything ended up working out how it did. It seemed like they gave us a cool start to a story, then showed the middle part. Then left the ending out, and instead simply gave us the last few pages to read and try to piece together.

The movie focused on the story of Newton and not Walker. But all the details we were given about Walker made me feel like that would have been the stronger experience. Without going into spoilers, we are given a very bare bones version of his story, and it plays heavily into Newton's. But his seems more compelling, and given the extra details I think the ending would have worked better. Walker has far more info then the viewer does and his story would have answered the questions I still had after the credits rolled. That is not to say this is a bad movie, but it was not the movie I wanted it to be. I mentioned the starting segment was my favorite part, I just wish they would have continued from there.

Good effects, a entertaining story, George Clooney and Hugh Laurie. Yes I had some issues with it, but I still enjoyed it. A good rental, but I would not buy it.

Inside Out (2015)

Inside out is a movie about a young girl who is forced to move away from her home for some reason we never really understand. Her family moves into a new house far away from her old friends and hobbies. She is having trouble coping and becomes increasingly frustrated by this. The gimmick though is that the movie takes place mostly inside her head. Each person has 5 little creatures that represent various emotions that control how we feel at any given time. Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust. They can manipulate their person and try to steer them towards the emotion they feel is appropriate at that time. They can also show them past memories or even change how that person perceives a memory if they want. Basically they control that person and manipulate them as they see fit.

Joy and Sadness are removed from the control center and spend the majority of the movie trying to make it back there. Riley, their person, has lost her core memories which make up her personality. Joy and Sadness are in possession of them and are trying to return them in hopes that it will “fix” Riley and her current issues.

The movie itself is more of a comedy thought it does tend to deal with rather heavy situations. At one point the girl tries to run away for example, and they have a re-occurring joke about a dog dying. Trying to mix the dark humor into the movie was not a horrible idea, one of their main characters is perpetually depressed after all. However the execution of it was a miss for me. The joke about the dead dog for example, I didn’t care for it. Yes it made sense given the context, but that doesn’t make it enjoyable. We are presented with an imaginary friend at one point we are supposed to care about. But we see him kill another imaginary character as a gag. There is even a scene in the end where Joy uses dozens of imaginary characters as a ladder while sentencing each and every one of them to their deaths. The logic was they were all willing to die for Riley, so why not allow them to if it benefited her. The movie constantly tries to get you to care about these characters, but then it gives you reason to dislike them. The comedy fell flat, and with the majority of the characters being unlikable, I had trouble find something to enjoy in this one.

I did enjoy a few of the emotions, Anger, Fear, and Disgust were all entertaining for the most part. They also had the smaller roles so that may be why. I also liked the various creature that populated the rest of Riley’s head. There was a scene where somebody forced her to listen to a commercial jingle over and over again. It kept popping up during the movie and it was the only thing to make me constantly laugh. It was a shame the rest of the movie tried too hard to be so unique or it could have all been enjoyable. We had prolonged scenes dealing with abstract thought, or simply showing how random a 11 year olds thoughts are. They bogged the film down and added in very large boring spans of time. The animation was decent, but the overall design of the characters and sets left a lot to be desired.

Everybody told me how amazing this movie was when it came out. After seeing it I can see the potential for that, but it failed to deliver that type of experience. The characters were interesting, as was the story. But they were all very annoying and just unlikable. Sadness was the only real likable one of the main group, but that wasn’t enough to carry the film either. I expected better from Pixar, this one was very disappointing. I couldn’t even recommend renting it after my viewing. Just pass on it and move on. 

Unfriended (2014)

A girl who was a jerk herself was made the victim of cyber bullying by her class mates. A video was posted on line of her drunk and passed out after she crapped her pants. This along with the vocal outburst on facebook telling her to kill herself indeed lead her to suicide. A year later a group of friends all log into their computers and video chat with each other on the anniversary of her death. Each of those 5 played some sort of role in her death, this movie is about finding out what that role was.

This was a very unique movie. The entire thing is from the perspective of a single characters computer screen. We see nothing else the entire film but her computer. The characters all interact through video chat, instant messaging, and facebook. They never actually interact with each other directly in any way. It was oddly uncomfortable at first. I kept wanting to close the various windows and open programs she had. It really felt like I was watching it all unfold with them, and I was impressed with how well the gimmick worked over all. It also allowed them to use a lot of cool little tricks. The villain was able to hack their way into their calls and even message them through facebook using the dead girls account. It was able to directly manipulate the computer as well and would for example turn on a specific song on spotify to mess with its victom. The way they used the computer was fantastic and creative.

I liked the various characters as well. They were rather believable high school teens and seemed fairly normal in the beginning. As the movie went on and they started to get picked off we learned more about them. They all had issues and by the end of the film I rather liked a few of the various roles. They were interesting yet not to over the top. The actors did fine with what they were given, though none of the performances were really memorable.

The effects are hard to judge on this one. Because it was all done with video chat, the picture was never overly clear. We are dealing with web cams so it was grainy and often had distortion on it. So the killings while somewhat violent, were lessened by what we were actually shown. I think it was a smart idea, and it kept to the computer screen theme they had going on. But it did lesson the potential effect of each kill. Some of the kills were rather creative though, and I really liked how they handled them. One we get to see the police respond and hear the officers in the background. One was done in a very quick manor with the build up making you think something else was happening entirely. It was a very creative movie, and while not scary, I enjoyed what it was doing.

The ending was decent, and I enjoyed finding out each kids secret and seeing whether they were innocent or guilty. The social media aspect was on point, and seeing the villain posting stuff about each kid was amusing. People would instantly jump on the bandwagon and start shaming the others for something that they would normally enjoy seeing simply because of the context in which it was posted. They did a good job of showing how social media works and why it can be a negative thing.

A nice fun movie which starts off a little slow. Stick with it, it does get better and I loved the computer screen gimmick. A good rental, though I would not buy it.

Justice League: Gods and Monsters (2015)

A movie that looks at a world where the Justice League is comprised of murderers and potential villains. But a world where they still are perceived as heroes despite this. The movie opens up with a quick origin for the new Superman Hernan Guerra who is the son of Zod instead of Jor-El. We are then treated to a scene where the 3 members kill 50 or so terrorist without a second though, and get to see vampire batman drain somebody. I wouldn't say it was jarring as much as being almost comical to see these 3 killing people like it was nothing. It is not what you expect from the Justice League, and even though they showed much worse in the various shorts they used as advertising, I was still a little surprised at the whole thing.

The story for the movie revolves around the idea that the league could take over the world if they wanted. They know it, the people know it, everybody knows it. A group decides to start killing off scientist using super powered beings with abilities similar to the league in order to frame them and turn the world against them. As the league isn't exactly filled with boy-scouts in this world, that is not all that difficult. We are then presented with a world that hates and fears them, but now has the power to stand against them. Will the league become the villains or the heroes of the story?

The league consists of 3 members, Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. Purists might be put off by these variations of the characters, but DC did a good job of addressing this. They changed the identities of all the characters so that it would not tarnish the classics. Batman is not Bruce Wayne but Kirk Langstrom who you may remember as Manbat from the main continuity. Wonder Woman is Bekka wife of Orion from Apokolips who is also another established character. I was not familiar with Superman's new persona, so maybe Hernan Guerra was a new character. Each is given a brief origin story in the movie to time them all together, and each fits into the over all story as well. It was kind of neat to see the new team and I enjoyed the different take we were presented with.

This is a straight to DVD animated movie, so the animation will not be on par with things you would see in the theater. It is still good though and reminded me more of the classic batman animated stuff then the newer justice league movies. The style was charming, but not overly realistic. As far as parental advisory goes, I believe it was pg-13. There was some very minor nudity, a decent amount of blood, and a older kid being burned alive at one point. I think the pg-13 is fair, but it should be established it is not a movie geared towards children. So the younger crowd may need to skip this one depending on your own personal views.

There really is not a lot more to say about this one. The concept was a darker Justice League and that is what you get. It served as a starting point and there will be a digital comic series launching alongside the movie on the 28th that furthers the story. I do think they built it up a little to much, and that it failed to deliver on the Evil has a new Playground tag line they went with. The 3 animated shorts we were given as adverts actually had a much darker moment in them then anything the final product did. Seeing Superman forced to kill a toddler version of Brainiac was a horrible moment the film never came close to touching. It also did a much better job of showcasing the evil vs good argument for those characters as well. The film felt like a missed opportunity after that, almost like they were afraid to pull the trigger on these new versions. While it was still overall enjoyable, it never became that great classic it wanted to be.

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

Kingsman is a odd movie to me. The previews turned me off of it quite a bit, and frankly I had no real interest in seeing it. However the buzz around it was surprisingly very positive. Much like John Wick, another film I passed on, it started to become this film that I had to see. If for no other reason then to see if I was correct in my initial thoughts or not. I can honestly say after seeing it, the preview is a good representation of the final product. However, I was to harsh on it at first, the things that I didn't like in the preview grew on me as the movie went on. It was a little cheesy, and the action was over the top. The main character looked very out of place, but that was part of his role. Samuel L. Jackson looked stupid and was annoying, but he was the villain so it helped make me dislike him. It was a movie that didn't take itself to serious, and even poked fun at that fact. And in the end, one that I truly enjoyed, far more then I thought I would.

The Kingsman were tailors for very influential people during a period of war. A lot of their kids went off to war and never returned. This left a company of rich tailors with no heirs, and a desire to fix the world so other families did not have to go through the same hardships. They formed a secret society and became gentleman spies of sorts. The movie starts off in modern times and is about Samuel L Jackson's character trying to fix the world. I won't spoil that for you, but he is collecting influential people and trying to win them over. In these attempts he kills a Kingsman without knowing who they are, and this opens up a spot for a new member to join. The movie follows Taron Egerton's character "Eggsy" as he tries to become the next Kingsman. As well as dealing with Jackson's plan and his desire to save the planet.

This is a action movie plain and simple. It does have a good plot, and the story works much better then my poor description may lead you to believe. There are a lot of English accents, which may or may not be a issue for you. If you watched attack the block and had no issues understanding what was being said, you will be fine. If the quicker speaking moments just left you staring blankly at the screen....well maybe turn the subs on. There were only a few times I had no clue what was being said, but that could simply be my lack of exposure to people who speak in that fashion. Jackson also gets a pretty neat accent, and I now choose to believe that is his normal way of talking.

If you research this movie online, one thing is constantly brought up. There is a church scene that was edited out in some countries, and simply edited down in others. It is a shame some didn't get to see the entire scene play out. It was easily the most memorable part of the film, and it also really showcases what the film is all about. Over the top and stylish violence, simply for the sake of entertainment. When we see fighting in this movie, we get some crazy camera angles. We see a first person view from the kingsman spy glasses, a view of the top of the gun similar to a video game. Cameras attached to the actors bodies as they fight. They really went over the top with these sequences and they made the movie that much better. Bodies would fly unrealistically when hit, and there was flipping and bullet dodging.....it would have easily been to much in most movies. However the set the tone of this one very quickly, and the action fit right in. I heard a lot about how brutal and gory this movie was, but after seeing it I felt let down. Not to say I enjoy that in my films, but it was non existent in this one. Yeah you see some blood, but not much and it is only briefly shown.

I really enjoyed the story, and how it was presented. All the characters were fun, and there were some cool inclusions such as Sofia Boutella as Gazelle the amputee ninja. Apparently she does have legs in real life, that shouldn't be disappointing to find out, but it is. I also enjoyed Obama being in the movie, even if they never showed a good shot of him. If you are a republican, you will get more out of his role then the democrats. I may have jokingly told my wife that her father would love this movie after Obama's scene. The movie also did a great job of developing all the different roles, and by the end I can't think of anybody who really didn't get that treatment. Little things like showing 30 seconds here and there of Eggsy and his sister for example. It makes a scene later on mean more as you know about their relationship and how much he cares for her.

I am trying to think of a negative about this movie. I really can't, it was action perfection. It didn't take itself to serious, it even mentions that in the movie. They had catchy diolgue, and some of the best fights I have seen in a while. It reminded me a lot of the movie Wanted, which I loved. But unlike that movie, this one had much better pacing and was far superior in the long run. It also didn't have any magic string that told them who to kill, so that was a plus. And we got a amazing Firework display at the end that you simply have to see. There is a cool moment where two characters are talking about their childhood and how they loved the old Bond spy films. One wanted to be Bone, and the other wanted to be the villain. The movie really is about that, the love of the old spy films. It has the fanfare you would expect from something like that, the absurdity that was associated with them. The over the top villian with the swanky layer in the side of a mountain. And some how it is able to pull it all off.

The Kingsman is not only one of the best action films I have seen recently, it is one of the best I have ever seen. It mixes a classic spy tale with Colin Firth's character Galahad, and a more modern tale with Eggsy. If you love violent visual films, go watch it.

Annie (2014), Into the Woods (2014)

Not really a review this time, as I didn't finish either of these movies. Though don't hold that against them, it was not related to my enjoyment or lack of but mostly family related things. Same thing happened during the lego movie, I loved that one but I still walked out of the theater.

Annie, I will start off by saying I have not seen the original. Or if I had years and years ago, I don't recall it. I knew the basic story going into it, but that was about it. Annie is the story of a orphan who is trying to find her parents. It is also the story of a would be politician who tries to use her to his advantage to win some votes. Together they seemed to be helping each other in their own way, though I never did see the conclusion of it all.

Quvenzhane Wallis played Annie, she is a cute kid and she can sing. She seems like she can act, though this role never really called for that in the 70% of the film I saw. She just came off as underwhelming most of the time. Though given her age, I can't really fault her to much for that. She is already far better at acting then I could be. Still she was enjoyable enough to watch, and she brought a decent amount of energy to pretty much all her scenes. It would be hard to dislike her or the character.

Jamie Foxx played Will Stacks, the Daddy Warbucks of this movie. For those of you groaning about them swapping up the characters, the movie actually opens with a little girl who resembles the original Annie. They have a decent joke about it and move on, I think that is a pretty good attitude to have in these sort of situations. Foxx is a great actor, no doubt about that. And he did great in this role, I was just disappointed I didn't get to see him sing. Maybe it happened near the end, who knows. His character provided a good amount of humor, and Foxx played him in a quirky manner that was enjoyable to see.

They did borrow a few songs from the original, they pretty much had to. Though they did touch up some of the lyrics to fit the songs within the more modern setting. They also came up with new arrangements for similar reasons. The songs were not bad, catchy enough. Though I do wonder if the purists will enjoy the more pop variations on the classics. The new songs really did not stand out as much, though that could have easily been due to them not having the iconic status that something like "It's a Hard Knock Life" It is a musical, you go into it wanting to hear solid performances. It had some good moments, but overall it never really delivered on that aspect of it.

I stopped the movie, and ended up returning it with 30 or so minutes left. I really wish I had been able to finish it, I was enjoying it so far. It was not a amazing film, and it is not one I would put up against the other big name musicals that have come out in recent years. But it had its own charm, and for a rental that is more then enough.


Into the Woods, also a musical based off of a stage show, is a mish-mash of various fairy tales. It takes a few well known stories and tries to create a narrative that brings them all together into one big story. Little Red Riding hood, Jack and the Bean Stalk, Cinderella, and a few others. They use a central character of The Baker and his wife to do this. The Bakers father angered the Witch who then put a curse on his family so they could not have children. She was then turned ugly in the process due to the Bakers father stealing her magic beans. She enlists the Bakers help, as the two curses can be broken using the same method. The Baker and his wife need to find a Cloak as red as blood, hair as yellow as corn, and a cow as white as milk, and a golden slipper. There is also the added stipulation all must be gathered.....in the woods. You should be seeing how this is coming together. The baker and his wife interact with the other stories and in a sense change them in order to collect the ingredients. Now this is a darker telling of the stories, and it has a big event at the end that furthers that. Though I never saw how it all ended up. 30 minutes left on the clock when I turned it off. Odd thing is, I still have the movie, I just don't care to finish it up.

The way it was presented, you could see and feel the broadway underneath it. It just was a horrible translation into the big screen. Cheap visuals that remind you of a stage show, horrible pacing, and just a bad presentation. It had a cool story, and a neat idea. It just could not do anything with it. It didn't help that the songs were pretty bland as well. Talented singers and actors, but everything just felt dull and boring. Meryl Streeps "witch" was the high point of the film for me. She had crazy down, and seeing her randomly pop up and scare the baker usually brought me a smile. But that was really the only thing I remember enjoying about this one.

For a rental, it may be worth checking out if you are a fan of the stage show. But for everybody else, I would just advise on passing.

The Interview (2014)

So by now we should all know the story behind this movie, or its release I should say. Threats and hacks, which may or may not have been related, caused the movie to be canceled 2 days before its theatrical release. It then went from being a throw away comedy to one of the most talked about films this year. Everybody wanted to see it now, so of course Sony took advantage of that. They released it in a select group of theaters, and then pushed it online though various digital distributors. Almost makes you wonder if they had this planned all along. So now that we can see the movie that sparked all this nonsense, is it actually worth watching?

The Interview is about two friends who work in television. James Franco plays David Skylark who interviews celebrities for his talk show. Seth Rogen plays Aaron Rappaport his producer. Franco is all about entertainment, and not so much actual news and current events. His show has a bad reputation, but seems to have a large following thanks to the work of Rogen. There is a story that comes out saying that Kim Jong-un actually really enjoys american media, and that Franco's talk show is his favorite thing on television. Rogen comes up with the brilliant idea of using the Olympics committee to try and get a message to North Korea asking for a interview, and it actually ends up working. They are granted a 1 hour scripted interview which instantly grabs the attention of the entire world. North Korea is thought to have working nukes that could reach the US at this point, so the CIA decides to take advantage of Rogen and Franco and ropes them into a assassination attempt on Kim Jong-un.

The easiest way to tell if you will enjoy this movie is to simply ask yourself, did you care for any of Rogen's other big films. "This is the End," "Pineapple Express," "Knocked Up," the humor is similar in all of these. If you are not a Rogen fan, this film will not do much to change that. It follows the same kind of formula his past work does. Crass humor, a lot of homosexual stuff, and violence tossed in for fun. That is not to say they do not have some very creative and even intelligent humor. It is just not the main focus of the film. Running gags, drug use, and shock humor are all present. The film easily earns its R rating many times over. If you are a Rogen fan, none of this will phase you however. You will enjoy the movie and enjoy the humor. I myself laughed quite a bit at it. Unlike "This is the End" where the constant sexual jokes eventually wore on me, "The Interview" seemed to keep its humor fresh throughout most of the film. Much like "Pineapple Express" it did seem to turn into a action film at the end, but it worked well enough within the context of the movie. If you read any news story about Kim Jong-un right now, top comments will probably be quotes from this film. There were just so many memorable moments.

Acting, well that is hard to talk about here. Acting was fine, this was a comedy though not a drama. No real huge moments for the different actors to shine. I did feel Franco played up his role a little to much at times. Randall Park did very well with Kim Jong-un, he really was great in that role. His part had the most emotional range, and he seemed to do well with everything he was given. I would be interested to see him in something more serious just to see how good of a actor he really is. There were also some cool cameo's I won't ruin for you.

This movie took a current issue and made it into a joke. It has some valid points to it however. I didn't expect it to go so in depth with how messed up North Korea is. They discussed what would happen if they were able to kill Kim Jong-un, and why it may not be the best idea. They gave some interested figures and facts about the people and how they are treated. They really did a good job with how they presented the country and the way the citizens view Kim Jong-un. I don't know how accurate what was presented is, but from what little I have heard and read in the news it wouldn't surprise me if it was mostly true. I read a story about how damaging this movie could be to the North Korean government because of this. The fact that a simple comedy film took the time to include all this, and to a extent that is actually worried a government is commendable. Is it Rogen's funniest work yet, probably not. But is could easily be the one he is most proud of simple due to the response it is receiving.

If you are thinking about seeing this movie based solely on the hype it is getting now, I would say go ahead and give it a shot. It presents a issues that is very much real, in a way that anybody can understand. There are solid comedic moments, but if you are not into low brow humor you will not enjoy it as much as others. Be advised there is some gore, though not a lot. And it is absolutely not a movie for family night.

I often judge a movie by whether I would watch it a second or even third time. Pacific Rim was the perfect example of this, I could watch that movie over and over again. This is another unique case. Kim Jong-un will continue to show up in the news, and this movie will remain relevant for a long time because of that. That also makes it one that will be easy to re-watch as we continue to be annoyed by its main villain. Right now North Korea is suffering from a internet shortage, probably so its citizens will not watch this movie. They are of course blaming the US, if that doesn't make you want to watch "The Interview" then nothing will.

The Maze Runner (2014)

I remember a few years ago standing in a book store with my fiance. She was looking for books on Tarot for her mother, and I was bored out of my mind. I picked up a book and started reading the back of it. The story sounded interesting so I carried it around for awhile. After seeing my wife on the floor going through shelf after shelf, I figured I had time and started to read. The book was The Maze Runner, and it turned me off quicker then any other book I have ever read. Shank this, Klunk that, greenie greenie greenie. The book has its own slang, which I am guessing was to get around the kids constantly cursing. It just annoyed me how often it was used. It sounded stupid and I put the book back. Think I ended up with a comic or something. Hell I always end up with a comic book. That is just who I am. Years later the book is now a movie, and I had no interest in seeing it. That is until I saw it stared Dylan O'Brien from Mtv's Teen Wolf. If you have ever sat through a episode of Teen Wolf you probably remember Stiles Stilinski, the one good character the show has. Stiles is funny, and he seemed like a good actor from the only other thing I have ever seen him in. The first Time back in 2012. So after being told that the movie actually improved on the book, and had far less shank and klunk in it, I gave it a shot.

The story is simple. Every month a boy and some supplies are lifted into a enclosed area by a elevator. That area is surrounded by a maze. A society has been slowing forming for 3 years from the boys and is living off of the supplies and what they can find in the environment they were placed in. The live in a giant open field surrounded by jungle and stone walls. They send people called Runners into the maze ever day to try and figure out how to escape.

The movie follows Thomas, played by Dylan "Stiles" O'Brien, who is the new Greenie or new kid. He is curious about the maze, which is apparently unheard of. He becomes a runner and enters the maze and has far better luck then any of the others in solving the mystery. Bad things begin to happen once he starts progressing however. This is good for us, as the movie becomes rather action packed for awhile. We are introduced to the residents of the maze, and they are frightening. Giant mechanical spider monsters who ruthlessly kill the boys or infect them with some sort of disease that slowly kills them.

The action was actually something that took me off guard in the movie. The boys can't really fight the monsters as they don't have any effective weapons. They use sharp sticks and some small blades. So you know when they do try to fight back, it is not going to go well. I was impressed at how well they filmed those scenes how ever. Whether it was them running in fear through the maze, or actually trying to band together to take on the threat. It was always exciting, and it always looked visually interesting. The maze had to just be a huge green screen set, but it felt almost alive and looks imposing. The monsters were disgusting and looked pretty damn real most of the time.

One complaint I heard about the movie was the cast. Not that they were bad, because they weren't. But that it was mostly males, which it was. The movie has one female who plays a substantial role, and a smaller part played by another. The rest is all male, including all the major roles. It did create a odd atmosphere, and I could see why it would bother some. It didn't offend them or anything like that. Simply it just felt odd seeing a movie with a all male focus.

The acting was solid, nothing award winning but still quite good. There was no huge dramatic moments, and the guys and gal did great with what they had. I really liked the character Chuck played by Blake Cooper. He did a great job of getting me to really care about his role. Thomas Brodie-Sangster from Game of Thrones played the second in command Newt. Ki Hong Lee played Minho, one of the other runners. They both had larger roles and had memorable performances. The main antagonist other then the maze was Gally played by Will Poulter. He was a good pick for this role. He has a face that just begs you to punch it, which made him very easy to dislike. There really were not weak links in the cast, which helped the movie out greatly.

The ending is something you have to talk about to give a score, but I won't put any spoilers. I thought it was interesting, and frankly I had no idea what the movie was doing half the time. Since I stopped reading very early on, the maze was a big mystery to me. I enjoyed figuring it out along side them. And I liked that even though this is a trilogy, it still felt like a contained story.

The Maze Runner surprised me. It was a enjoyable film from beginning to end. It had good characters and a cool concept. It did its best to answer any questions it created, and the ending made sense. I actually thought of buying the 2nd book as soon as the movie was over. I didn't, but I did price it. For a rental, it is a solid choice. And if I had paid to see it in theaters, I would have left happy.

The Giver (2014)

I saw the Giver about two weeks ago, never wrote about it. What that means is I don't remember a lot of the details of it at this point. So this will be a short review dealing on how I felt about the film. But without a lot of the extra stuff thrown in. Their will be some spoilers, but not a lot.

The Giver is a based off of a book written by Lois Lowry published in 1993. I remember reading it in middle school, but don't really remember much about the book other then I enjoyed it. I can not tell you how different the movie is from the book. I do know from what others have said, that there are a fair share of differences. But for the most part people seem to be okay with them.

The idea for the story is a new society that has stripped away emotions and memories of the past. This allows them to easier control the residents and curb crime and violence. Without emotions we don't get angry, we also don't feel jealously and other things that cause issues within people. You are assigned to families, and then you are assigned a job when you are of age. I am guessing you would be assigned a partner to, but I don't recall it going over that. The main character is Jonas and he has been chosen to be "The Giver." The giver is the holder of the memories. They use the knowledge of before to help guide the elders in the choices they make for moving forward. It also gives Jonas a few added perks such as now being able to lie. The current Giver transmits the memories into the new one using super powers it appeared. They looked psychically linked when transmitting. The old giver loses the memory then, which is the one thing I recall from the book. Don't believe the movie touched on that, which made no sense at it added more emotion to certain scenes.

With these new memories, and his returning emotions, Jonas decides his society is a issue. He and the current Giver come up with a plan to return the memories to the people. Nobody stops to think if this is a good idea, and frankly I don't think it was. However they go forward with their plan, and that is what the movie is about. How do they return the memories? Well there are magic towers that create a barrier around the settlement. If the memories leave that barrier, it breaks and everybody gets all the memories. This includes memories of war, murder, and may other violent acts. Imagine a society that has no concept of these. That has jobs where you actually kill people, but you do not understand what you are doing. Imagine if that subject now gains that knowledge. How would they act now knowing they have murdered 100's if not thousands in their lifetime? How about a society that does not feel love or lust. They suddenly know all about lust, and desires. The movie never deals with these types of questions. It just goes, the Giver is correct. Believe in the Giver. And we get a crap ending that does not deal with the part of the story that should have been the most interesting.

Acting was solid all around. Jeff Bridges, Mery Streep, Alexander Skarsgard....you get what you expect here. The lead was played by Brenton Thwaites who was fine. He was never really likable though, and oddly forgettable. Much like he was in Oculus. Did anybody remember he was in that? Does anybody remember anything from that movie other then Karen Gillan? The light-bulb apple, and the scene at the end. Honestly all I can remember about that movie is her doing crazy stuff. Odeya Rush played the love interest, and she was also fine. Her character was void of emotions most of the movie. She played that rather well, but never really got a chance to step up and show any ranger. Not her fault, just how that role was written.

Interesting story that took off running, only to fall on its face just before the finish line. Good acting by the supporting cast. And Taylor Swift was there for a few moments, Taylor Swift is always a plus in my book. Skarsgard said they would all get together and play piano and sing while drinking after a long day. They should put that on the DVD. The ending left much to be desired, and really seemed to detract from the overall message the film was trying to get across. Somebody told me the Giver  is an interesting story that is slightly traffic yet beautiful. I think they meant tragic, but that is a direct quote. I think it was tragic, but it never became beautiful to me. They focused on all the wrong aspects of it. This movie could have told a wonderful story. It just didn't try to be in the end. It was a lazy attempt that lost its focus and only delivered a forgettable experience. I wish I could remember the book better. Or more what I liked about it. Maybe I wasn't as cynical back then. Or maybe the book was just genuinely that much better.

Into the Storm (2014)

Okay let's go ahead and get it out of the way, twister is a better movie. There it is over with, now we can talk about Into the Storm, a movie that is about tornadoes and how much they suck in general. The idea is that a small town is assaulted by a few of these bad boys back to back, before the mega Tornado comes in and just destroys everything in its path. That is the entire story, sorry I just ruined it for you. Then again you are not watching this movie for a story, you are watching it for the effects. And it does a good job there, but was that enough to keep me happy for the fairly short duration of the film?

The movie follows 3 groups of people. A father and his two kids who are making a video for a time capsule. A group of storm hunters who are driving around in the batmobile trying to get video from inside a tornado. And two intoxicated Rednecks who are by far the more entertaining of the three. One neat thing is each group has a camera, but it is not all done in the traditional found footage style. It will often go from them filming, to the standard film angles used in most movies. Where the crew is shooting, and you are not supposed to feel like one of the characters is. Using the two different styles and switching between them often was not confusing, but it did create a odd and annoying visual style. Also there were times when we were looking through a camera being held by one of the characters in the film. But we could see all the characters in the frame....who was the phantom camera man we never met?

Each group had their own side story that ultimately was just filler. The father and his sons didn't really get along anymore. The older son was in love with a girl who didn't really know him. The storm hunters were running out of money and needed some good footage. The rednecks were drunk and wanted to have fun. Thankfully the magic Tornado fixed most of said issues, as it was a benevolent storm. The side stories provided the majority of the "acting" and took up a good 2/3rds of the film. I didn't care for any of the groups other then the rednecks led by comedian Jon Reep. The father and his two kids felt forced, and the fact that the son gets trapped with his love interest was far to convenient. I did like Matt Walsh as the boss of the storm hunters, as he was more interested in his own agenda then helping and saving the victims of the storm. Frankly though, if people were on the screen and not a storm, the movie was at its weakest.

Visually speaking, this movie was pretty impressive. I have never been in a tornado, I don't know much about them. But I can tell you if this movie was accurate, they are horrible horrible things. We see vehicles and planes lifted into the air, people sucked up and shot out. One neat thing was every time the main group got a new person who was not named, they died shortly after. It was like they were filling the ranks with fodder so they would not have to kill anybody with a story. It frankly made the deaths meaningless and detracted from any sort of tension. Still seeing all the carnage was awesome, and the destruction it left in its path was very well portrayed.

The actors were fine, I think it was mostly the writing. Still with me not caring about the majority of the cast, some of that blame has to fall on them. There were multiple times when one of the main roles was in a bad situation, but I never really felt worried. It was not that I thought they wouldn't die, it was that I simply didn't care if they did. Not being able to build any attachment to them really made it hard to enjoy the movie. The whole journey just didn't matter to me.

Kind of a quick write up, but I am tired and I don't feel it deserves much more. Story was pretty bland, but the visuals tried their best to make up for it. The storm scenes were all pretty cool, and they kept me happy. I would say for a rental, why not. You will see some cool things, and you can fast forward if the in between bits start to bother you. I would never buy this film though.

Look at this trailer, it will get you hyped for this film. Sadly the actual product does not deliver, very glad I decided to see how to train your dragon 2 in theaters instead of this.

The Purge: Anarchy (2014)

The original purge wasn't a horrible movie, it just wan't a good one either. It has a decent premise, but it just failed to really do anything with it. One day out of the year, oddly enough my daughters birthday, all crime is legal for 12 hours. There are rules such as what kind of weapons you can use, but pretty much anything goes. Certain high level officials are off limits, but all law enforcement and medical services are suspended until the purge is over. The idea is that crime got so far out of hand, that giving people this one night allowed them to get it out of their system. And it actually worked, crime rates have dropped. The first movie was about a single family on Purge night. They were targeted for saving a groups purge target. As such the movie was a invasion film, and really did nothing new or special. People break into the house, and they try and defend themselves. It ended up being a fairly tame and boring film. The Purge Anarchy takes the criticism against the first film, and tries to rework the franchise into what it should have always been. A look into the outside world during the purge.

The movie is about a a group who get stuck outside during the purge, they have to band together to try and survive through the night. Each has their own reason for being out there, and I won't spoil them here. But the 5 come together and have to fight back against there on individual tormentors. One couple is being chased by a band of masked riders led by the silent "I am God." While the other 3 are being hunted by somebody only known as "Big Daddy," a guy with a semi and a Gatling gun. The different stories and reasons don't really matter for the most part, as it is all about survival and not what got them to that point. By focusing on something so simple, the movie is able to better explore what is going on with them. There is also a sub plot involving Michael Kenneth Williams character, Carmelo Johns, but even that mostly just serves as a way to give the viewer a idea of how the rest of the world feels about the conflict.

The story is much tighter this time around, due mostly to the lack of one. And that is not the only way the movie has improved. It gets rid of the tense atmosphere and stops trying to be scary, and instead goes the action route. It focuses more on the violence and the terror of the situation. We see our survivors go from normal people who would never even think of purging, to killers who are out there for a reason. You see character development as ones motives change and they receive a huge moment as the film goes on. We even get a better look into the minds of the purgers and learn more about the process then we did in the original. One really neat thing I liked was how they addressed the different classes and how they purge. As well as the question of would people really do this if it was a real thing. Seeing everything come together at the end was really cool, even if you did see it coming long before then. And even though the purgers are well within their legal right, it is made easy to view them as villains. The Rich and upper class are by far the easiest to hate, and that whole portion of the film was just fantastic.

Acting was good, no real complaints. I was unfamiliar with most of the people in here, but they all were more then adequate for this type of film. Frank Grillo played the nameless lead, and he was brutal and fun to watch. Carmen Ejogo and Zoe Soul played the family, and were easy to relate to. Zoe was the odd one out, as I really didn't care for her. However even that I feel was intentional as she was a very opinionated teenager who you just wanted to shut up at most points. Michael Kenneth Williams killed it with his Radical anti political rally speeches, and the various purgers were all kinds of creepy and intimidating.

So we have a much better story, a film with a stronger focus. It spends more time dealing with the purge itself, and explores the concept and the way people deal and participate in it. We get a much broader understanding of the event, and the movie was far better for it. Acting that doesn't take you out of the moment, and some cool and violent moments. Add in themes that 90% of the population can get behind and identify with, and you have a pretty solid movie. When I heard there was going to be a second Purge I had no interest in it. Now if I hear there will be a third, I may actually see it in the theater. That is the best praise I can give this one, it changed my opinion and proved me wrong.

 

Let's be Cops (2014)

Was going to do a write up today on Let's be Cops. It releases on dvd in a few days, and should be heading to redbox shortly. Sadly I could not finish the movie, I made it about 45 minutes into it. It never really became funny, and the story was moving far to slowly. Jake Johnson was not entertaining, and it seemed as if most of the humor was supposed to be coming from his character. Wayans did try to play the straight man, while getting in some jokes of his own. However nothing ever really worked for me.

The idea for the film was a good one, but it was just poorly executed. I don't have a did not finish graphic...maybe I should make one.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

I grew up with the Turtles. For Halloween my friends and I went as a group costume multiple years in a row. My parents let me skip school to go see one of the movies in theaters. I had every official figure that came out for years, and many of the comics as well. I still have the original series and the movies on dvd, and a bunch of the trading cards in a binder. When this new movie first came out, I was very uncertain about it. The original plot about them now being Aliens instead of mutants, and my distaste for anything Michael Bay related didn't help. But as time went on, it did get some good buzz. So I decided to finally give it a chance, and put by bias aside. Oddley enough, after a few minutes the small things didn't really bother me anymore. Yes the turtles look ridiculous, but you get used to them pretty quickly. Even Donnie's god awful voice actor stopped being a sour point. But did the film win me over and deliver a memorable outing?

Let's start with the story. The foot clan, who are no longer ninjas but simply soldiers, are trying to find the turtles. We know they are trying to take over the city, but we are not sure how. Shredder is still the leader, but everything else about the story has been changed for this movie. Explaining the back-stories would count as a spoiler though, so I will leave a good portion of it out. The basic idea though is the Turtles were not accidents, but purposefully created to test a antidote that would allow for stronger better humans. Also the enjoyable scene where Splinter is still a rat and learning Karate by watching his master is no longer in. Instead they picked that up along with all their training from a book on ninjutsu.Granted that sounds far fetched, but when you take into account the added abilities these turtles have, and that is all they have been doing for 15 years...it actually seems plausible. They have internet and better technology then normal people, so they have other means of learning as well.

Speaking of which, these are not the old school turtles. They don't say Cowabunga, except simply to fit it into the movie that one time. They also are never really in danger while fighting the foot clan, which tends to lessen a lot of the movie. They are bullet proof, and the foot only really  use guns. The only real time you feel they could be in danger is when they are fighting Shredder. Shredder also if very different, as he fights in a giant robotic suit with blades for fingers. It was actually kind of neat and one of the few changes that didn't really bother me. The Turtles having super strength though on the other hand, well that just felt very out of place. You have to accept that this isn't the same franchise you grew up with. If you can't look past that, you will hate this movie more and more as it continues on.

A interesting thing to me, the turtles were all mo-capped while wearing huge turtle suits. For the most part it was done by the guys doing there voices as well. The only odd one out being Leonardo, who was voiced by Johnny Knoxville but acted out by Pete Ploszek. All the voices for the turtles really did seem to fit the different types of characters they were, though I felt they went overboard with Donatello. He was a nerd, but he had huge glasses that gave him bug eyes. And his voice sounded very high pitched and like he was always afraid. Yes he had some good moments, but it was just annoying anytime he talked. Leonardo was also a odd choice. Johnny Knoxville is a funny guy, but he is not the serious and focused leader type. Granted you look at how much money he has made from his previous career, he clearly has those qualities. But they don't come across in his acting, and he didn't really work for that role. Alan Ritchson played Raphael, and he did a good job with it. There was a nice moment where he was doing his bet batman voice early on, but it was simply a gag and he settled into a voice that fit the character quite nicely. I will admit I wanted him to use his Blue Mountain State voice, but That Castle the ninja turtle would have never honestly worked.

All of the...well I guess people actors, those who were not mostly CG, did pretty well. Megan Fox will probably never been known as a amazing dramatic marvel, but I had no real issues with her performance here. She was center stage for a lot of the film, but her being joined by Will Arnett really benefited the performance. He plays the same kind of role he always does, and he has perfected it over the years. Seeing their interactions were some of the better moments in the movie, and he was easily one of the better characters. The villain was played by William Fichtner, who did good, but was given little screen time when compared to how big his role was.

The only real issues I had with any of the characters stemmed from the writing and not the actors. April was witness to multiple foot clan attacks, but instead of ever calling the police, she always tried to get pictures of them with her phone. Granted as a journalist, that would not be out of character. However I think they would still call if they saw known terrorist, and then try to get a picture. The turtles also had trouble winning me over. Michelangelo is introduced to us by way of him making a Erection joke in regards to how hot April is. There was a fart joke, and the scenes that focused solely on the turtles and Splinter were usually weaker then the others. The turtles formed their personas based off of television they saw in the last 15 years, so they came off as almost parodies of every kid you ever hated. Half the time you just didn't like them, and that caused issues. I will also say, I could never get used to how Splinter looked. It was just awful, and his CGI was notably worse then any other part of the film. When he was fighting Shredder, I was actually hoping the bad guy would come out on top. Just so maybe I wouldn't have to see him for the rest of the film.

Turtles love pizza, but only from Pizza Hut. I do admit, if pizza hut actually sold pizza that looked like it did in the movie, maybe I would like them to. One thing the movie did right was nods like that. The turtles are brothers, but one of them gave the other three up for pizza. Will Arnett makes a joke about heroes in a half shell. They even had a line that could have been a reference to the original Alien plot. These moments made me smile, and were enjoyable when ever they rose up.

The only thing to really talk about now are the action sequences. As stated earlier, the turtles are bullet proof. That alone pretty much made the first few not as good as they could have been. The fights with Shredder were toned down due to his movement in the super suit not being great. He was more about shooting blades and big blows. It was cool, but for a karate movie it did detract from it overall. There was one scene though that was either amazing or awful depending on how you view physics. A downhill fight on a snowy mountain with the turtles fighting the foot and a few vehicles. It was very well shot, and the effects and visuals were well done. But the whole scene was just horribly impossible. The final fight was also kind of odd, but I won't spoil that one for you. If you like the bay Transformers movies, you will enjoy this. If those just make you shake your head, you may have issues with this one to.

So we have a story that is lackluster. I don't mind them changing it up from the original, but it was notably worse. The acting was good enough for this kind of movie, it wasn't a epic drama or anything special. The humor was hit or miss, and the turtles were more annoying then not. Ralph was the stand out, but they did all have their moments. Visuals were not bad, but there were low points such as Splinter. The movie had decent pacing, but it just didn't make sense at times. The physics were just off, and the powered up turtles pissed me off. To be fair though, I did enjoy the movie. It was so bad at times it was endearing, and other scenes worked very well. I would probally watch it again, but it was certainly not a classic. And it will not replace the originals.

Better then I thought, still not worth buying.

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

I like Transformers, and by that I mean the franchise as a whole. I have a few of the toys, and always seem to gravitate towards them when in a toy store these days. I have read a few of the comics, and have seen quite a lot of the animated shows on tv. Every time something Transformers comes out, they go a new direction with it. They make new designs for the Classic robots to sell more toys. They introduce new cast mates to sell more toys. They change the overall style or general appearance.....to sell more toys. Toys will always be at the heart of this franchise, and the desire to make money. So in the new movie, I was not surprised that they did away with the robot cast from the previous entries. We get a few new autobots with Bee and Optimus. And no returning decepticons, but instead a new faction with new robots....for toys. Also if you know anything about me, you know I hated the last few transformers movies. They were awful, and usually filled with mindless plot holes that seemed so apparent while watching, I had to wonder how they missed them. Maybe they didn't, and they just didn't feel like fixing it. The last few movies were poorly written, poorly shot, and were a travesty to the Transformers franchise. They did sell toys however, so I guess good on them. How does the new movie stack up? Well let me say I did enjoy it more then the others. I liked the human cast more in this one. Mark Wahlberg and T.J. Miller killed it the first part of the movie. And Kelsey Grammer played a pretty slick villain. The Robots though.....well I will get to that in a moment.

The story for this film is centered around the Final battle from the last one. The big fight in Chicago caused a ton of damage and killed quite a few people as well. The government decided, rightfully so, we don't need the transformers on our planet anymore. They gave asylum to a few Autobots and started to hunt the remaining Decepticons down. Or at least that was the story they gave out. They actually teamed up with a 3rd faction who was hunting the Transformers for trophies. They wanted Optimus so they could return him to the creators. This Transformer was called Lockdown, and could transform his face into a Sniper Rifle. Yes it was as cool as it sounds. Kelsey Grammer leads the black ops team working with him, and they are hunting all the remaining robots.

Mark Wahlberg is a struggling inventor, whose inventions don't actually seem to work. He and T.J. Miller are doing a job cleaning up a old theater when they come across a broken down Truck. Wahlberg buys it and takes it back to his barn to try and see if he can part it out for money. Of course it turns out to be Optimus Prime and the goverment storms his house to try and capture him. Wahlberg and his family are forced into hiding and join up with the autobots as they try to fight for their freedom. Also Dinobots show up at the end of the film for 10 or so minutes.

Acting in these movies, not usually top shelf stuff. But to be fair Mark Wahlberg does a good job here. He has good emotions, and seeing him play angry protective father is good fun. T.J. Miller is always gold for me. The guy just cracks me up, and I have enjoyed him in everything I can think of. Even Yogi Bear, so seeing him here was a very nice surprise. Sadly they decide to only use him for about 30 minutes or so. Grammer is the main human villain, and he does well with what he is given. He never really comes across as scary, or even intimidating though. It just felt like they could have done much more with him.

For the robots, Optimus is voiced by Peter Cullen. Cullen has been voicing that particular robot for 30 years now. He was the same guy who voiced him back in the first animated series. Frank Weller also returns, voicing Galvatron. He also has been voicing that robot and a few others since the 80's. Seeing these guys still working their roles is great, but also a little disappointing. They do a wonderful job, and hearing their voices is a joy. But the way they are being used now, you have to wonder if they even care about their past. Maybe it is just me being to critical, but the versions of those characters we have now are in no way similar to the great characters they have offered us in the past. More on that in a minute though.

The visuals in the movie range from god awful, to pretty damn impressive. Usually the later thankfully. However there was a scene where Wahlberg and his daughter are saved by her sometimes Irish boyfriend. He is a rally driver, and has a course set up where he jumps out of a parking garage onto a ramp. The whole sequence was just ridiculous looking. The moment the car left the garage it looked very fake, even the way it moved seemed very off. This is just one example, but there were a few times I just shook my head at how poorly something looked. On the other end of the spectrum though, I would like to talk about Transformium. It is a new metal the humans have invented in order to combat the robots. It allows them to make their own transformers, and the way it moves and transforms is a visual treat. It separates into little spheres and then reforms into the new shape. It was one of the cooler elements in the film. Seeing them change a gun into Rainbow Dash made me smile. And seeing it used in the battle sequences did the same. Sadly the actual fights did not do the same.

The action sequences were about the same as the last few films. Explosions for the sake of explosions. Fighting that seemed very out of place for the Autobots. And a whole lot of nothing happening for extended duration. They also decided to have Wahlberg fight the transformers, which worked with varying success. He is given a gun, that is human size, and he can kill them with it. He gets it off of a transformer ship though, where we never actually see anybody human size who could wield it. Also as it seems to be firing physical rounds instead of lasers, I have to wonder how much recoil a transformer killing weapon would have.....apparently none is the correct answer. He even gets the final fight, as after Lockdown takes out Optimus Prime, why wouldn't the human with a gun be able to win?

So in previous variations of the Transformers, autobots end up stranded on our planet. They decide to support and protect us from the deceptions, as it was simply the right thing to do. In other variations humans have gotten a hold of their tech and used it to fight them, but they still protected us as it was simply the right thing to do. In this movie that changes. The autobots don't like the humans, and even come off as villains in some portions. They are unable to see the difference between the corrupt members running the black ops group, and everybody else. A running gag is the autobots requesting permission from Optimus to kill random humans. And even Optimus himself does not go out of his way to protect the innocents. He even brings fights into highly populated areas purposefully. Let's remember that was his entire thing. Optimus Prime discovered sentient life on the planet and swore to protect it. That is from his wiki, and it perfectly sums up him as a character. This Optimus does not have that, and nothing has happened to him that hasn't happened in other versions of the fiction. If it was the first movie I could sort of understand it, but he seems to not remember any of the humans who have helped him from the past few Bay films. I spent the majority of the movie hating the autobots, as frankly they were awful protagonist. The fact that Cullen still voiced Optimus in this performance has lowered my opinion of him.

The high point of the film were the sequences that did not involve the transformers. T.J. Miller and Mark Wahlberg hanging out was easily the best part of the movie. The entire first 30 minutes, I actually thought they had finally made a film I was going to enjoy. Then they get rid of Miller and replace him with Jack Raynor who was just awful. He couldn't pick a accent, and his character was simply annoying. He was used to add humor to the film, but it just fell flat for me. Wahlberg did a great job of holding everything together, but even he couldn't carry the entire movie.

With a horrible story, bland action sequences, annoying inconsistencies, that whole we could have just shot the magnet the whole time thing. (if you watch the movie you will get this) Frankly this movie was garbage. Wahlberg was better then Shia Labeouf, but everybody other then him and Miller were bland and forgettable. The autobots were jerks and unlikable, though my wife was surprised that Goodman was still alive. So finding out she was wrong about that was a positive for her. It was odd watching this movie, it started out so strong. But as it progressed it somehow got worse and worse as time went on. By the end, I was just glad it was over with.

I have a strict, no money on Bay Formers rule, guess it will stay in effect for the time being. If you want a redbox, look for something else. Godzilla is out now, and Deliver us from Evil just showed up there. Give one of those a shot instead.

No trailer, watch this instead.

How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

The first movie was a epic tale with great story, character development, awesome visuals, great voice acting.....good action....good this...great that. It was a solid movie that delivered on all fronts. The second movie had a lot to live up to, and frankly I would have been surprised if they had managed to come up with something better. As it stands they did not, they didn't even come in at the same level as before. So the question simply is, Was it still a good movie?

In the first movie Hiccup, voiced by Jay Baruchel, is the son of the chief of his village. He is expected to becomes a great dragon killer, and a all around fearsome viking. He instead comes to care for the dragons and sees they are not the evil creatures everyone thinks they are. He unites the two and they fight a big bad dragon in the end. Simple enough but we see a lot of growth. Dragon 2.0 is 5 years later. Hiccup has changed the village to be more like him, but he still does not want to be part of it. His father wants him to take over as chief, and he has no desire to do so. He simply wants to fly around and map out the surrounding areas. As in the first book, he is more interested in Knowledge then anything else. While traveling he finds out there is a man named Drago Bludvist who is trapping and controlling dragons to make a army for conquest. Hiccup gets his attention and he decides to take his villages dragons. There is a big fight and that is the story. There is a side story that goes on about Hiccups family, but I won't ruin that for you. It was the one decent thing the movie had going for it.

So the story is weaker, and we have already met all these dragons so the wow factor is gone. They do introduce some new species, but it is not done with the same exuberance as the original film. As this is more of a battle movie then the first, you would assume that is where the movie would shine. Sadly not so much. The flying sequences in the first film out shine the ones in this one. Hiccup has fashioned a flying suit so he can soar around with his dragon. It was a cool idea but they seem to focus on that more then trying to create exciting moments around the dragons. The flying portions are still neat, but simply don't get the attention they did in the first film. The battles also seem quite tame, which is odd as they are the main focus. The trappers won't kill the dragons, as they want them. So there is no real suspense for the most part. The dragons won't really kill the people either, as it is a kids movie. There is a lot of flying around, and a few focused moments of combat, but it just feels lacking. The big moment of the film does involve somebody finally killing somebody else, but it was not enough to save the film. Also the final fight was just a dragon sitting still taking pot shots at a much larger foe.

So less excitement, a bland story....so what does the movie do right? Well the visuals are still cool. The animation is well done, and if you enjoyed the original you will still enjoy this one. It may not be as good, but it is still far from bad. It seems to lack the direction of the first film, and doesn't seem as focused on providing a quality story. But the story is still fun for what it is. The humor was hit or miss for me, miss more often then not. But it was still nice to see more of Hiccup and Toothless. If you have kids, they won't care about the parts I didn't like. While I did expect a lot more, I still had fun with it.

Trailer has a Huge Spoiler in it....as they all seem to these days. If you have not seen much advertising for this movie yet, maybe skip the preview.